Got a Monday night text:

We moved mountains, ditched plans, slid into the lineup—and had ourselves a night.

Good ball, great people, and they asked us to come back as permanent subs.
Tickled is an understatement.

If your group chat drops a last-minute “need a 4th?”
and your soul sprints like this lil girl…
you’re my people.

Roscoe Bellamy dropped a gem.
I loved it so much, I did the homework for you.

I pulled the five attack patterns into a quick reference you can actually drill.
Because passive YouTube ≠ progress.

Some of you are probably already stealing points with one or two of these patterns (respect)
but add all five and you’re officially a menace at the kitchen.

Watch first, then pick one pattern to train for the next few weeks—reply and tell me which you chose and how you are getting on.

Idea: Feed a questionable ball (knee–hip height) to a trigger-happy opponent, sit on the line, and counter their speed-up.

Use when: Opponent attacks too early/often.

Keys:
✅ Stay patient → invite the attack.
✅ Slide early to the counter lane.
✅ Counter firm, not wild—goal is to win the hands battle, not blast it long.

Common mistakes: Baiting with a true sitter; countering too big; late read.

Drill: Send your partner “yellow-zone” dinks, baiting them to speed it up; slide to the side and punish with a forehand punch. 10 reps each side.

Idea: Don’t jam the body; make them stretch the outside —especially backhand wing—then finish on ball two.
Use when: Opponent has a solid punch volley but weak power off the wings.

Keys:
✅ Identify weaker side (often backhand).
✅ Only execute when you’re in balance and behind the ball.
✅ Treat it as a two-shot combo: make ‘em stretch → finish.

Common mistakes: Going for the winner on ball one; executing when off balance or out of position.

Drill: Feeder floats a neutral dink; you speed to their outside/backhand wing, then auto-prepare for the next ball and finish into open space. 8 clean combos.

Idea: Relentlessly lean on a known weakness with varied, aggressive dinks until it cracks—or the right ball appears to attack.
Use when: Opponent runs around to favor one side, or has a wobbly backhand dink.

Keys:
✅ Target the weak side with pace, angle, and depth variation.
✅ Patience > pace: earn the error or the sitter.
✅ Attack only when the ball deserves it.

Common mistakes: Getting bored and pulling early; losing target discipline.

Drill: purposefully and aggressively dink to the same quadrant (e.g., their backhand). Wait for them to get flustered and hit a floater or pop up: attack it.

Idea: Take one step off the line, roll topspin dinks to lift the ball, then step back in and lean for the airborne attack.
Use when: Opponents get off-balance easily; taller players who reach but don’t reset well.

Keys:
✅ Step back to create space → roll a heavier, higher-bouncing dink.
✅ As you sense a pop-up, step in and take it out of the air.
✅ Think forward-back as well as left-right.

Common mistakes: Staying back after creating space; attacking from below net height.

Drill: Three rolled dinks from one step off the line → one step in → attack volley. Repeat to both corners. 6 cycles.

Idea: Speed up cross-body, then anticipate the counter coming back the opposite way—your paddle is already waiting to win ball two.
Use when: Opponents camp on the line or lack counter power.

Keys:
✅ Only pull when you’re behind the ball.
✅ First ball goes cross-body; immediately load the opposite line for the counter.
✅ Treat it as a two-shot by design.

Common mistakes: Attacking from too low; forgetting to preload the second ball.

Drill: Feeder gives neutral dink → you speed cross-body → feeder auto-counters opposite → you counter-finish. 10 clean triangles.

Your turn:
Pick one pattern.
Rep it until it’s automatic.
Then report back.

The caption on this IG reel nailed it:

“Why play Mixed Doubles when you can play Mixed Singles?”

You have to watch to see what that means.
I promise you’ll laugh.

Thankfully, Lance has never played this egregiously—
and I’ve never had a male partner behave like this.

If I did?
Hard pass.

I prefer true Mixed Doubles.
I’m not signing up for Mixed Singles.
I’ve got better things to do (like laundry or cleaning my bathroom).

Have you ever played with a partner like this?
Or are you the poacher-in-chief?

Confession time: I almost never get frustrated with partners… except when my partner is Lance (yes, my husband).

It’s not every time—mostly when we’re losing to a team I feel we should beat.

My competitive brain flips from let’s have fun to WTH are we losing?

I want to be better here.

So I took it to Reddit (free therapy), and it went kinda viral:
13k+ views, 150+ comments, and the best takeaways were simple and sharp:

My new commitment to Lance:

Zoom out → the real shift:

I can’t stop thinking about one Redditor’s comment. It was so profound.
A gentleman said he’s usually very Zen, BUT he said that when he “behaves like someone he’s not,” he smiles and takes a deep breath. . .

That line “behaving like someone I’m not” hit me hard (in the best way).

I’d been treating my frustration with Lance this week like it said something rotten about me—as if I’m a negative, jerky, bully person.

That isn’t who I am.
It was a moment, not an identity.

So instead of choosing self-flagellation in the future, I’m going to do what my Reddit friend does:

smile, breathe, remind myself “not me,” offer a quick, sincere apology, and begin again.

That’s a true reset.

And that same compassion is exactly what my partner needs when they make a mistake.

“We’ll get the next one,” or “right idea,” lifts both of us way more than a frustrated look or disappointment energy ever will.

My new mantra or micro-practice:
Smile → Breathe → “Not me.” → (Quick, sincere apology-if needed) → Next ball.

The great thing about this practice is that it applies WAY beyond pickleball:

Lost your temper with your kid?
Smile, breathe, “not me,” (quick apology), reset.

Said something you wish you hadn’t?
Smile, breathe, “not me,” (quick apology), reset.

Fired off a snippy text?
Smile, breathe, “not me,” (quick apology), reset.

Same muscle.

Your turn: Do you play better or worse with your spouse/partner?
What’s your ritual to stay kind and competitive?

Hit reply—I’m still taking tips.

Saw this real estate listing on Reddit and I had to click:

A lot of my homes do have a second kitchen—but that’s because I turned the basement into an apartment.

This?

This is the second kind of kitchen I want most.
Who’s with me?

Alright, Five Dink Friday Fam—that’s a wrap.

If this was forwarded to you, subscribe so you’re in the kitchen with us every Friday.

If you laughed or learned something new today, forward this like a forehand drive to your pickleball bestie or your pickleball bro.

I wish I could claim that sharing was a guaranteed way to improve your DUPR…
But I’ve got no substantial facts.

So why don’t you try it and report back? 😉

Until next week—train smart, have fun, and may all your “second kitchen” dreams come true. 🏠🥒

—Janelle

P.S. Practicing self-compassion here:
I’m not an idiot—I just keep forgetting to bring my new NetX Vortex quiet balls to full matches. Hence, no review yet. They’re officially in my bag now, so I won’t forget again. Review coming once I’ve banged ’em around in real play. (They’ve been awesome for drilling.)